As I sit here and think of what to say so many thoughts are flooding my mind. I have never learned so much then in the last 10 months of my life. Lets take it back to the beginning of this all, to May.
In May I decided to take a huge step for me and move to California, leave all behind in Arizona. I shared a room with my good friend Brie from high school and was living the California dream right? The whole first month of living there was quite tough because I could not find a job. I had applied for about 40 jobs and reached the point where I was very homesick and wanted to move home. So I prayed and was like you know what God, if California is where you want me I NEED A JOB, and gave God the deadline of the first of June... And what do you know, God provided.
Over the next two months in California I was living the "dream" if you would, I met a great guy, lived by the beach, had a great job, and living on my own doing what I want. I thought it was perfect. I came home to visit in July and told my family and friends that God had a plan for me in California and that I was going to drop out of school and stay in California.. God really did have plans for me but I was also very stupid in my rash decision making.
August was a fun month of moving but also hard because some of my friendships were on the rocks because of my decision to move. I was selfish and would constantly defend my side of things giving no one else a option or a chance. September came around and things started to change for me and I was NOT happy. Life was tough. The boy wasn't around, all my friends were in school, my family was a state away, some friendships were failing, and I felt so alone and like God had abandoned me. Why would He do this to me when I was alone in a new state? So frustrated I would spend hours crying because I was so angry and home sick. After some convincing from my aunt, I got back out there and met new people. This is when I found Sea Breeze Church and fell in love with "Young Adults" their college age ministry. I branched out and made new friends who were on fire for Christ. They encouraged me on this journey and kept me going. They gave me HOPE. In the weeks following I became stronger in the Lord and confident in the person He made me to be. He taught me to be myself, not what my parents wanted me to be, or society says I should be, but ME. I found my true identity in Him.
In November I moved back to Arizona and that was be a whole different trial. Living at home and being in a familiar place is great and my family is a huge part of me and is so important to me. Though being home again was amazing I got back into my daily routines and selfish ways. January came around I found a job that provided for my financial needs, I started school, and so the chaos of life was surrounding me. My life consists of work, homework, school, eating, sleeping repeat. It is so easy to get caught up in this routine that we make for ourselves.
The last few months I have been reminded of this: Life is short. Life is so short and its not all about the big things. Its not about when I am going to get married, what I am going to do the rest of my life, or the things I have.. It's about the little things. It's about living in every moment that you have, seizing opportunities as they are given. It is so easy of us to get into our norms and to never get back out. I want to encourage myself and everyone reading, switch things up. Live a spontaneous life, love the people in your life like there is no tomorrow, do things that YOU want to do while you can, don't live in fear of what other people think, don't be afraid of the things you can't control, BE YOURSELF, and be the person that God has called you to be. With Christ anything is possible. He brings hope, protection, restoration, and a love that surpasses all. Treasure life and live it to the fullest because you never know what day will be your last.
A friend gave me this idea that instead of doing New Year Resolutions to pick a word or phrase that you want to describe your year.. It has taken me a while but I think I finally have one:
FEARLESS
and by this I mean I want my year to look like a year of opportunities taken, not missed. I want to be fully confident in the person that I am. And I want to trust the plans that God has for me by not fearing the things that I cannot change.
I know my thoughts are kind of all over the place and I am not the greatest at writing, but hey it's the thought that counts right? I hope that from this poorly written blog you will find hope and inspiration.
I'll leave you with the words of the song "Oceans" which really inspires me.
"You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand
Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
I will call upon Your Name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine"
There will be more posts to come but until then ADIOS AMIGOS.
